Listen / Read So, it didn’t turn out so peacefully after all. Violent clashes, acts of vandalism and one death. Perhaps more adventure than a mild mannered Associate Lecturer might want to engage with Biblically.
Monthly Archives: April 2009
Thursday 2nd April 2009: Dom Antony Sutch
Listen / Read We need good leadership do we, Father Antony? And whose example might we follow? Might it be Jesus, per chance? Oh, it is. I’m such a good guesser.
Friday 3rd April 2009: Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks
Listen / Read I agree with Chief Nobsacks on this one. With the whole remembering the lessons of history thing. Not with the remembering mythology as fact, though. Just with the remembering historical facts as facts.
Saturday 4th April 2009: Rev Rob Marshall
Listen / Read I did not watch the Grand National. I will not be applying it as a metaphor to my life. And if it’s not the winning but the taking part that counts, why are the vast majority of people involved in sporting events all spectators?
Monday 6th April 2009: Rev Dr Giles Fraser
Listen / Read ARRRRRGH! EVERYTHING I BELIEVED ABOUT THE NATURE OF MY EXISTENCE IS BULLSHIT! ARRRRRGH! NO WAY! WHAT DO I DO NOW? FUCK! THERE’S NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO! I KNOW, I’LL JUST CARRY ON REGARDLESS! Phew. Glad I resolved that one.
Tuesday 7th April 2009: Rev Dr Alan Billings
Listen / Read Lovely. Belief at it’s most bleak. All those people who say religion is a good thing because at least it gives people comfort have me wondering now. Billings almost lost the will to finish his reading, so grim was his theological interpretation.
Wednesday 8th April 2009: Brian Draper
Listen / Read When Jesus died for us, it was a bit like he’d had his face mauled off by dogs and thereafter surgically replaced with the face of someone else. You know, a bit like that.
Thursday 9th April 2009: Rev Angela Tilby
Listen / Read For some reason I’m either being too stupid to get to the bottom of why today’s Thought for the Day is unavailable either via text, real media, or mp3, and seems to have been removed from the audio of the entire Today programme. This confuses me considerably. I shall write my pathetic [...]
Friday 10th April 2009: Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams
Listen / Read Forgive them, for they know not what they do… Who doesn’t know what they do? The policeman who attacked an innocent man with his back to him and his hands in his pockets? Didn’t he know what he was doing? The banks and the bankers that have orchestrated elaborate schemes of fraud [...]
Saturday 11th April 2009: Rev Rob Marshall
Listen / Read FFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHH is what today’s reading was about. Just in case you missed that. Today however we’re talking specifically about Jesus’ zombification. Apparently “the key to grasping this reality is, of course, faith“.
Monday 13th April 2009: Rev Giles Fraser
Listen / Read Alas bank holiday Mondays are like Sundays and Sundays are my day of rest from the platitudinous piffle injections. Today’s instalment will follow shortly, along with, I hope, the missing Afterthought from Thursday. So, more on the uplifting zombification of Jesus from Fraser, but what about Angela Tilby’s reading from Thursday. It [...]
Tuesday 14th April 2009: Dr Indarjit Singh
Listen / Read Indarjit! Where have you been? It’s been months. Where were you for Hola Mahalla? Or didn’t you have much to say about a display of military prowess? Nice of you to pop by anyway. Nice bit of bragging about how awesome your faith is. Well done. Don’t leave it until Diwali until [...]
Wednesday 14th April 2009: Rt Rev James Jones
Listen / Read So, James Jones likes Jesus and hymns. Who’d have thunk it? And who’d have thunk that he’s once again using death (more child death, incidentally, with the youngest victim of the Hillsborough disaster being only 10 years old) to remind us just how much Jesus suffered and just how important it is [...]
Thursday 16th April 2009: Rev Angela Tilby
Listen / Read Oh, come on Angela, you repetitively rubbish boredom rimmer. Even within the remit of Thought for the Day you can do better than that, surely? Okay, maybe I’m expecting too much but come on Angela. Try harder next time.
Friday 17th April 2009: Catherine Pepinster
Listen / Read People aren’t getting married, getting a mortgage and having kids young enough for Catherlic Pepinster’s liking. In other news, the number of young boys being molested by Catholic priests has gone down. As it were. I imagine she thinks that’s a bit of a bummer too.
Saturday 18th April 2009: Rev Rob Marshall
Listen / Read Funerals and music and no real point in particular… just another Saturday morning in Rev Rob’s empty head.
Monday 20th April 2009: Rev John Bell
Listen / Read Choirs and orchestras will save the human race from dying? Music will prevent Armageddon? But I thought that was the one thing all Christians were really looking forward to? I will never understand these people.
Tuesday 21st April 2009: Dr Indarjit Singh
Listen / Read So Sikhism is the bee’s knees. I’m presuming that’s what he said because I zoned out before long. [Additional: Being as I couldn't really be arsed with Singh's big sloppy nothing, here's a short piece on Pickled Politics that you might find more interesting.]
Wednesday 22nd April 2009: Rt Rev James Jones
Listen / Read Why did JJ just tell us that consumerism is kind of bad like it was going to blow our minds?
Thursday 23rd April 2009: Rev Angela Tilby
Listen / Read Oh good. I had hoped this might have miraculously escaped the interest of our readers, but then I should know better than to hope for miracles.
Friday 24th April 2009: Rhidian Brook
Listen / Read Debt is evil and our wealth is an illusion. All those poor Africans are actually richer than us. Which can only mean one thing: Africa stole all the money, and they’re hiding it all in their mud huts. That’s what the global recession is about. They’re getting us back for colonialism.
Saturday 25th April 2009: Ann Atkins
Listen / Read I find it difficult to express just how far away from normality I perceive Ann Atkins to be. Both in her world view and socially. The disparity between the educational experience she discusses and that of most is the yawning chasm of a lamentable meritocracy.
Monday 27th April 2009: Rev John Bell
Listen / Read Money, money, money – it’s so funny – in the Christians’ world! See what I did there? I took the famous song by ABBA and changed the lyrics to suit the topic. This is also pertinent in that, though ABBA were named after the initials from each of their forenames, the word [...]
Tuesday 28th April 2009: Dr Indarjit Singh
Listen / Read Religions are lovely things really, it’s only when they’re not being lovely that they’re not lovely. Oh, and people are people too, you know?
Wednesday 29th April 2009: Rt Rev James Jones
Listen / Read How delightfully vomit-inducing. Is it just my imagination, or does JJ sound like he’s climaxing at the end there when he utters the words ‘oh Jesus, thank you for carrying us this far’. Jeez JJ, I don’t think Jesus intended to carry you all the way to orgasm.
Thursday 30th April 2009: Rabbi Laura Janner-Klausner
Listen / Read Don’t worry I haven’t died or anything. I was just ‘busy’ yesterday and have a shocking hangover today. I shall catch up when my head stops throbbing. Thank you for your understanding. Ah fuck it. I’m going to leave this, Friday’s and Saturday’s until after I’ve watched the Coronation Street omnibus. I [...]