Listen / Read
I was agreeing with Draper right up until the point he started talking bollocks. It was around the 1 minute 45 second mark… “sitting as we do on stocks of spiritual crapital… liquidity of life… generating peace perhaps… and offering self-giving love—” Oh, actually I think a wank is just what I need right now, laters Draper!
Christmas is bullshit for the reasons Draper summed up quite well: “…spend what I don’t have on things other people don’t want.” Well you would keep buying them The Bible for Dummies, wouldn’t you Brian? Just because it’s twice as patronising doesn’t mean you’re getting two for the price of one. The tautology cancels it out.
So why not treat them to some wank wordplay instead? You really do deserve some ‘credit’ for ‘being’ introspective, ‘being’ tedious with it, ‘being’ platitudinous too, ‘being’ unbelievably boring, ‘being’ spiritual and shit (that’s not shit as in ‘stuff’ but shit as in ‘shit’), ‘being’ able to destroy your own perfectly valid opinion with the three little words “as Jesus said”.
Because I blame Jesus for the commercialisation of Christmas. It was, after all, Jesus who first said ‘show me the money’.
Ho ho ho! (as Jesus also said, while one washed his feet).