Listen / Read
Yeah, isn’t it awful when Christians shove the Bible down your throat. Those “so-called religious people” with a “well deserved reputation for being judgemental hypocrites”. It’s “especially ironic given that Jesus confronted this attitude head-on”. Are you kidding us Brian Draper? Or are you just pre-empting the satire by parodying yourself? I don’t know what to say. Seriously, are you kidding me? You’re appalled that that woman tossed a Bible at a homeless man, and so you go on NATIONAL RADIO to condemn such behaviour before tossing the Bible over the airwaves at MILLIONS OF LISTENERS. Does the left hand not know what the right hand is tossing off into your own gaping cake hole?
I’m bereft of all sensible thought. That well meaning ouroboros has left me looking about the room like Tim from The Office when Gareth says something utterly absurd while remaining utterly aloof to it.
In my personal experience, Christians have often come across as the most singularly judgemental set of twats I’ve had the displeasure to barely tolerate. But I don’t think they are actually more judgemental than the rest of us, it’s just the fact that they themselves never realise their failure in living upto the values they so readily exhort to others. Not only are they often unaware of their own failings, they also show a complete unawareness of the fact that they’re not even really trying. Wearing WWJD bracelets merely provides them with opportunities to wave them in the faces of others (unsurprisingly similar to the gesticulation for ‘wanker’). Christians aren’t just hypocrites, they’re the best example of hypocrisy our society has to offer. They make politicians seem sincere.
So when you’re looking at Gary Glitter in the news, musing upon his particularly ridiculous brand of human abhorrence, take a moment to cast a judging glance back at yourself. That’s right, take a look in the mirror why don’t you. Because while you’re self-righteously tossing pebbles of contempt at someone who gets children drunk and puts his penis in them, remember, you can be a right bitch sometimes. So, think on, yeah. You wouldn’t want to be as hypocritical as a Christian.
Or as much of a twat.