Listen / Read
I want to know when the re-match is scheduled for. Has anyone called Don King yet? I can’t think of anything better than ‘Kicking Off in Golgotha’ but I’m sure he’ll come up with something less tenuous. Can you imagine the worldwide viewing figures? We could have Mormons bitch-slapping Catholics, Episcopalians drop-kicking GAFCONites and Methodists head-butting evangelical fundamentalists. I for one would Kris Marshall that shit any day. Bee Movie can fuck off, get me Monk Fight Night on pay-per-view. And while you’re at it, throw Detective Monk into the melee too. The mediocre nob head.
I’ve watched this several times with great amusement :
Is it just me or does that Greek Orthodox monk near the beginning look like he’s a bit handy? He’s pretty fast with those blocks. At the very least he’s a Chow Yun-Fat fan. The Armenians on the other hand don’t even look like they’ve heard of Bruce Lee. No, they prefer the ‘flying hug’ technique and the ‘the sucker punch and run’ method. Remember, when attempting the ‘sucker punch and run’, don’t forget to stop a few feet away and cast a guilty glance back at your unwitting opponent, lest you risk styling your cowardice out at all.
What a clusterfuck. I know, I’m awfully fond of that word. If only I knew there’d be such a text-book example to save it for. Everyone’s falling all over the place dressed in some sort of costume or other, conjuring the theatricality of a WWE Royal Rumble minus the choreography. Israeli police seem to have been trained to restrain unruly individuals by slapping them and essentially joining in, pushing the brawling brothers into one another as if to maximise the cascading chaos. Ridiculous. Brilliant. A new televisual genre is born. Religiotainment.
And Rev Dr Fraser wants us to guard against becoming like this? What a spoilsport. Doesn’t he see the potential? It’d do wonders for dwindling church attendance figures. Out with the altar, in with a ring. Better still, strip the pews out and just let the congregants have at it. Forget preaching from the pulpit, get a Christian metal band in and they’ll be screeching from the mosh pit. Add a few lions and it’ll be like the good old days all over again. Sainthoods all round!
Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. I hate it when you fork out the pay-per-view fee and it ends with a knockout in the first round. Better make it just the one lion.